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Noah nodded, giving a small shrug. ‘She left me the bakery, so I took care of Adam and ran the place. I had no idea what I was doing, but I’ve lasted this long.’
Adriano winced. ‘Is there no way to save it?’
‘Money,’ Noah answered with a harsh, frustrated laugh. ‘It’s always money. I had to take out a loan, and I’m not making enough to pay it all back along with the other expenses. Adam has a food truck now, and his girlfriend owns a café, and they’re doing well. I’ll probably close at the end of summer.’
Saying it like that—even with his hands—was profound. Noah had known it. In the back of his mind, he’d known. He wasn’t hiding from the fact that Bubbe’s legacy was coming to an end all because Noah was nothing more than a failure. He had been a terrible parent to Adam—had never quite figured out how to be anything other than an anxious mess. He had been a dumping ground for his mother’s grief, and he’d been little more than a disaster for Bubbe to take care of.
None of it was a surprise, but it hurt. It hurt that he couldn’t do this one thing, even if he truly didn’t want it. There was no point in trying to turn it over to Adam either. Even if his skill and willingness to give up their restricted kosher certification could bring more people in the door, it wouldn’t be enough. It couldn’t save the hole Noah was in.
He’d find a way to tell Adam, and then it would be done.
A warm hand touched his cheek again, and Noah’s breath rushed out of his lungs. He turned his eyes up to find Adriano holding his gaze, his look as firm as the caress of his fingers. His heart thudded against his ribs, want pooling in his belly. He ran his tongue over his lower lip, and then… he leaned in.
The knock startled him back before Adriano could respond, to either accept or reject the offered kiss. He’d forgotten about the pizza, and his face was so hot he thought he might burst into flames as he scrambled to his feet and hurried toward the door.
He clutched his card between his fingers, but as he reached for the doorknob, he felt a hot, firm body behind him. Adriano’s chest pressed against him as his large hand grabbed the handle and wrenched the door open. Noah’s ears were ringing with shock, loud enough he couldn’t hear the pizza delivery woman who was holding the two boxes in one hand.
Noah stood there, wordless and still, as Adriano thrust cash at her. He took the pizzas with one hand, signed his thanks with the other, then shut the door. Noah’s senses were flooded, overwhelmed. The smell of spices, dough, and cheese took over and below that, the undercurrent of Adriano’s cologne. The hot press of his body remained against his back, the slow puffs of his breath brushing the back of Noah’s ear.
And then, a steady hand turned him. Adriano’s eyes were still dark, but Noah couldn’t get a read on his expression.
‘Eat,’ Adriano finally signed into the space between them. ‘Talk after.’
It seemed an offering, and Noah would be a fool not to take it. He was resigned to his fate—whatever it was—as he let Adriano take his hand and drag him back to the sofa. He was at some sort of turning point, but as Adriano opened the first pizza box and gave him another one of his unreadable looks, Noah was well aware he had no idea what was coming next.
CHAPTER6
He knew him.Shit, Adriano knew him. The memories were a little foggy after so many years, but he remembered the shy, wide-eyed man in the ASL 4 class Adriano was using for his TA hours. It wasn’t even related to his degree, but the college had insisted it was the only place suited for him, and he was too damn tired—and frankly too caught up in starting his porn career—to give a shit.
But God, he’d had such a crush on Noah, and knowing after all these years that Noah had followed him? He didn’t let himself think about how different life would have been if Noah had shown up that night, but a small part of him wondered.
Of course, he would have lost him in the end. Noah’s grandma died, and he was forced to be a parent to a young, grieving sibling. Adriano knew himself too well to assume he would have stuck around for something that heavy.
Maybe it was fate. Maybe they needed this time and distance to grow into two men who could be good for each other.
His head was a mess as he stared at Noah, who’d jumped up from the sofa like his ass was on fire. He realized it was the door after a beat, and he couldn’t stop himself from following, though he knew better.
But it was entirely due to his job that Adriano had been able to hold back giving in to his desire to draw Noah into his arms and take him apart until dawn. He was hard. Not as hard as he could have been, but Adriano had learned to restrain himself on command after years and years in the film industry.
Helpful, he supposed, but Noah was testing his abilities like no one ever had. Maybe it was because he was so unrestrained with his feelings and the way they played into every expression on his face, and every motion of his body, and the tremble in his fingers as he signed, and the way he looked at Adriano. Or maybe it was because he was nothing like the men Adriano had been surrounded by since he’d started his work.
And he loved his job. He did. He loved the lifestyle it provided, and he loved that he was good at it. He even enjoyed most of his colleagues and the friends he had. But he was growing tired of the fear that everyone around him was just waiting to see what they could get. He once thought Eric had loved him just to love him, but that idea had been shattered without mercy. In the weeks he’d wallowed after his breakup, his heartache wasn’t for the love he’d lost but for the sudden realization that no one might ever love him for the man he was.
The person beyond his body, and his skill, and the number in his bank account.
But Noah wasdifferent. It wouldn’t be the first time Adriano had fucked one of his fans. He didn’t do it often, but he’d given in to the temptation a time or two when he was just getting started. And after Eric, there had been parties where the two of them had devoured shy men who had managed to get an invite and spent the night pressed against the wall, trembling with need.
He hadn’t hated those moments, but Noah was not like any of those men. His concern after finding Adriano at his laptop was genuine. He looked afraid—and maybe a little hurt—that Adriano might think Noah’s friendship was anything but. Noah was a sea of complications. Adriano knew that much. There was a pain in his eyes Adriano didn’t understand, though knowing about his parents and grandmother, it made sense.
He couldn’t imagine what it would be like to have his entire life decided for him, to be thrust into the role of guardian at such a tender, important age. To have whatever dreams he was following, whatever freedom he’d fought for, snatched by the hands of death.
It sounded like a prison sentence.
Noah was sad, and he was resigned. His bakery was failing, but he wasn’t asking for help. It was water cupped in his hands. Adriano fought back the urge to throw money at him, to just solve the problem with a check. He could do it. He wouldn’t have a single regret, even if it turned out Noah had befriended him for that reason alone.
How could he? The way Noah’s flushed skin felt against his palm when he touched him was worth more than he could say. He was soft, and sweet, and Adriano wanted to devour him.
When Noah had rushed off before the pizza arrived, Adriano was more than aware of what was going on. He didn’t need to hear the thumping, or the moans, or the sharp cry of orgasm to know that Noah hadn’t been able to hold back. He closed his eyes and could too easily picture Noah standing over the toilet, hand flying over his dick, spilling ropes of seed into the water below.
