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Iprefer animals to people. No cat has ever made me feel excluded. No dog has ever broken my heart.
I stroke the soft fur of one of the unnamed puppies absentmindedly, barely registering the warm lick of her tongue. My thoughts are stuck on harsh words and broken glass. That’s why I’m here on a Friday afternoon instead of sticking to my normal schedule. I’m desperate for some distraction.
“You okay, Cassia?” Eileen asks.
I give the puppy one final pat and stand, turning back to measuring the kibble. “Yeah.”
“College troubles?”
“Uh, no.” My applications are all submitted for early decision. It’s a waiting game at this point. Nothing else I can do.
“How is Sydney doing?” Eileen’s voice is soft. Pembrooke is a small town, and Joe Adams’ accident was the subject of discussion for weeks after it happened. So was the man from Ridgemont who was drunk and also died in the accident. A tragedy all around.
My broken heart was another casualty. But that will heal. Repair itself. I’ll move on, even if it hurts like hell right now.
It takes me too long to respond.
“Cassia?”
I clear my throat. “She’s doing okay, I think.”
“What about Holden?”
An innocent question with a lot hiding underneath. One most people haven’t even thought to ask me. They associate me with one Adams sibling, and it’s not Holden. But Eileen knew us before. She saw him volunteer with me here. Was there for the beginning and middle of us, and now she’s asking about the end.
My elbow knocks one of the bowls, prompting a clang. “I don’t know.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
I glance at her, something in Eileen’s expression suggesting everything I’ve been too scared to say is obvious in the way I answered the question. “Am I that transparent?”
I try to pair the question with a wry smile, but I’m sure it falls flat.
“I have some experience with complicated love,” Eileen replies, suggesting some truth to the rumors I’ve heard. “And…I saw the way you two were looking at each other when he was here last month.”
“Pretty sure you misread things on his end.” Despite my best attempts, plenty of bitterness saturates my voice.
Eileen hums. “It’s harder to see love up close.”
“There’s definitely no love to see.” If the radio silence of the last couple of weeks wasn’t enough to tell me so, pushing me toward another guy sure was.
Eileen picks up a couple of the bowls that have already been filled. Gives me an understanding smile. “I hope you’re wrong.”
She takes the bowls toward the far kennel, starting to distribute dinner among the dogs.
The sad thing is, even after everything, I hope so too.
I’m close to home, running through a mental checklist of the work I need to finish tonight, when I realize I forgot my Calculus textbook in my locker.
I rushed out of school as soon as the final bell rang, eager to get to the animal shelter. Actively avoiding Holden. Not that he was trying to talk to me.
I turn around in a random driveway and speed back toward the high school.
The lot is almost empty. I forcibly shove back the memories of the last time I was here with so few cars as I park right in front of the school. Quiet hallways greet me as I enter the building and hurry toward my locker. There’s no one else around. I grab the textbook I need and retrace my steps back outside.
I’m halfway to my car when movement catches my attention out of the corner of my eye.
My heartbeat stops and stutters before I realize the tall frame doesn’t belong to the boy I’m avoiding.
